Dear left eye (amd right eye, if you want to read this too),

I see you've acted up this morning, with all the gunk and the redness and the itch and stuff. I know I've been constantly abusing you guys, with all the reading in areas that aren't well lit, the constant rubbing. and the general lack of rest. Maybe this is your way of getting back at me. Well guess what? It's working!

Now I'm begging you: pleeeeeease stop. Go back to normal. I'm willing to treat you the way you're supposed to be treated, but I need you to become normal eyes again.

Don't act all innocent. You randomly become itchy and tear up a storm, you know. But I'm willing to forgive you if you're willing to forgive me. You don'e even have to be the perfect eyes! Just be your normal, itch-and-tear-up-at-random eyes that you've always been and I will be eternally grateful.

We've gone through something like this (sore eyes) before. I'm pretty sure this dispute we have isn't as hard or as painful as the one before, but still. We can do this!

Please, please return to normal. I miss you my "old eyes"!

Sincerely,
Gundy